The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
