is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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