i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
