it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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