My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
