Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
