P.S. I can't hear my feet
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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