why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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