Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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