did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
this will be a night to untag.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
