carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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