Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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