Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I love having hate sex.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
