return my video game
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
