...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
