I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
