I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
