Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
