Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
