I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize