Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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