im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
