I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
They are going to name an STD after you.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
