I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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