i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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