People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
