I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You brought string cheese to the strip club
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
