dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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