I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
