I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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