So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
