I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
