I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
