it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize