Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
