dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
