cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
