He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So many bounce houses so little time
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
