also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
