My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize