Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
