think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sorry about my life...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
