What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I woke up under a house in Key West
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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