If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
