i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
