She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
