Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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