..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I could fuck to npr.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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