I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
there is glitter all over my balls
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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