he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
