Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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