Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
