You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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