is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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