I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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