i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
