How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize