2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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