I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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