Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I love having hate sex.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
