You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize