Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize