thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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