We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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